I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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