Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
