Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I wish you could order shots online.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
