Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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