I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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