My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
