so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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