At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
