even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
