I just saw a hot homeless man
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
