You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
