Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
