I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
