My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
