Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
