8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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