The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
