I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Everything about him screamed your future.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
