You made me cry and you don't even care
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
