I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
