Don't you send me to vm
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
