dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
