I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
