I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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