Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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