well I can't set my house on fire every night
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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