God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
