Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
