and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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