Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
