garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
