Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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