Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
