Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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