I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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