What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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