so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
