you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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