I cockslap morals
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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