Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
