we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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