Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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