Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
