You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
