I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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