i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
