Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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