I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
