People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
