i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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