Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
